It started with hatred from my side.
I had my friends and he was their classmate, used to come and sit with us, ate with us and gradually he hanged out with us too.
His habbits were annoying to me, speaking different tone of Gujarati which was unbearable for me, used to abuse a little too, but his face always said something which i wasnt able to read.
Slowly, i learnt he lives in the same area as i do.
Slowly again, i came to know him, know him deep and down, inside out, he was heaven, he was always an open book, maybe i made a mistake judging him too soon just based on his accent.
He was frank because he didnt care about “what people will say”, he never took shit from anybody so he abused, he was fair, tit for tat kinda guy, i never really saw him the way he was, i always saw him the way i wanted to see him and the way my inner concious allowed me to.
Now i was a fool who failed to read an open book.
My soul was attracted to his each n every move. I wanted to talk to him, to be with him.
Now that happened, though not like how i imagined but i talked to him all day, i was not embarrassed for sending my ugly and beautiful snaps, i was so familiar with him, he was a friend that i would never wanna leave.
Now that i knew him, i came to know he was always this innocent and cute, that i never noticed… I blamed myslef hard for not seeing that before…
Spent time with him, came home with him, talked to him all day.
I knew what had started inside me, yes i liked him to a great extent, a great deal… He had to now know my feelings too, but as usual, the fear of friendship break crap held me back.
Still gathered some courage and confessed anonymously, i mean soo stupid that idea was, i still laugh hard at my sillyness.
As smart he was, it didn’t took him more than 5 minutes to know that it was me. I knew it was silly and now he knew how i felt. I was so fucking scared, turns out, the threat of friendship being broken is real, soo real it hurts like bad, took the hell out of me that moment.
Ofcourse he now took less time to talk to me day by day. He stopped eventually.
No doubt that he was dear to drop me home after all this with a smiling face.
After a long time,i thought i was over him, but no, when i saw him again in the same circle, same ground with same friends, my heart started doing its beating fast thing really fast. I tried to avoid eye contact to show him i didn’t care, less did i knw that actuly indicates am desperate enough…..
I still asked if someone was alone on a vehicle and could care to drop me, in general. Nobody said anything.
Getting out of the college gate, he asked with an authority, if I wanted to go with him or not, me being the desperate bitch went with him without any further arguement…….
I kinda had sweet type of anxiety that time sitting behind him, which later proved correct. I was feeling a little smug but confused, i had the habbit of asuming incorrect options so to clear my doubt, i asked what he meant by going out for food right now???
He chuckled and said “i hoped for this date since a long time, i wanted to talk to you, i wanted to say that i like you too”.
Thats it, if i were on ground and not on his bike on the middle of a highway, i would have started jumping and dancing and hugged him really hard and probably kissed him too…….
I guess i liked him with all that shiddatt (devotion) that he understood my feeling, accepted them, and confessed his side too… At that moment i actully really wanted to hug him from back but there was still the new awkwardness…
Wanted to see how it end but unfortunately i woke up by surrounding sounds and woke up to level 0.